Ed Crosswire

Ed Crosswire
Life status	Alive (as of 2023)
Species	Monkey
Sex	Male
Occupation	Used car salesman
Other names	Eddieboy Grandpa Ed
Relative(s)	Chip Crosswire † (son) Muffy Crosswire (daughter)

Edward Edsel "Ed" Crosswire is an adult male monkey and wealthy businessman based in Elwood City. He is the husband of Millicent Crosswire, with whom he's had two children: Chip and Muffy. Ed was once involved with an affair with Jane Read, which resulted in the deterioration of her marriage. In 2023, Ed's son, Chip, committed suicide.

Biography

Marriage and family

Ed married Millicent, and they had a son, Chip, sometime in the 1990s. Around March 3, 2004, they hired a butler named Bailey, and they had a daughter, Muffy, on May 25, 2006. The family lived in the Crosswire Mansion.

Chip later enrolled at Tallahassee Tech in Tallahassee, Florida.

House fire

The Crosswire Mansion on fire.

On August 5, 2014, the Crosswire's butler, Bailey, began a mutiny by spraying Ed's daughter, Muffy, in the face with a mace-like liquid. Ed was alerted to scene, but he was helpless after Bailey shot darts into his side. Bailey then set the house on fire and fled the premises. Although the mansion seemed heavily damaged, Ed, Millicent, and Muffy all survived.

Son's relationships

On August 21, 2014, Ed was informed by Muffy that Chip was dating Catherine Frensky. Immediately, Ed strongly disapproved because he considered Catherine "poor as dirt." Along with Catherine's mother, Laverne (who also disapproved), Ed forcibly prohibited Chip and Catherine from seeing each other.

After returning to Tallahassee Tech, Chip became engaged to Jemima Jewels, only to call off the wedding several months later. Jemima was later murdered by Catherine Frensky.

Affair with Jane Read

Ed and Jane.

At some point before February 2015, Ed began an affair with Jane Read. Millicent, Ed's wife, starting getting suspicious after she found a romantic box of chocolates in the mail. When she accused Ed of cheating on her, he denied everything and called her "delusional."

Jane and Ed, using sunglasses to hide their identities, attended a rally in support of interspecies marriage. (As Jane is an aardvark and Ed is a monkey, they were understandably supportive of this cause.)

Daughter's kidnapping

On March 16, 2015, Muffy Crosswire was kidnapped from her home by Pickles the Clown. Ed was the one to stumble upon the ransom note left by Pickles, which demanded "your mansion and all your money." Three months later, Ed believed that his daughter was dead. Millicent, however, wanted to appease Pickles and pay the ransom. After Pickles called Ed's phone, they eventually met at a Starbucks to make the transaction. Pickles amicably returned Muffy after receiving the money (which was later revealed to be fake "Crosswire Bux").

Continued relationship with Jane

Jane and Ed during their affair.

In June 2015, Millicent attached a wire to Ed's clothes as he went to a secret "tax meeting" with Jane. To Millicent's dismay, Ed and Jane truly were speaking about taxes. This seemed to end most of her suspicions of an affair.

Some time after, Jane's husband, David, left her. It has been heavily implied that David somehow learned about the affair. Jane and Ed then decided to "stay away from each other," essentially breaking up. Despite this, Ed and Millicent's marriage remained intact.

Jane and Ed on a date in Crown City.

In 2023, Ed surprised Jane while she was working at Chickin Lickin'. He expressed hope that they could get back together, saying "a part of me never stopped wanting you." Uninterested, Jane blamed Ed for her failed marriage and left. However, Jane called Ed a few days later, saying "I'm ready. Let's make this work."

Jane and Ed went on a date at Remy's Bistro in Crown City. Ed chose Crown City so he wouldn't risk being spotted by Millicent. During the meal, Ed told Jane that he had "missed" her. On the way back to Elwood City, Jane suddenly told Ed that their new relationship would not "work out."

Son's death

In September 2023, Chip Crosswire killed himself by jumping off a cliff in Tallahassee, Florida. His body was found a few days later. Ed's reaction is not yet known.

Relationships

Person	Total tenure	Status	Status tenure	Children
Millicent Crosswire	Before Elwood–Present	Dating (assumed)	Before Elwood	0
		Engaged (assumed)
		Married	Before Elwood–Present	2
Jane Read	During or before Issue 135–Between Elwood and Elwood High	Extramarital affair	During or before Issue 135–Between Elwood and Elwood High	0
		Broken up	Between Elwood and Elwood High–Issue 173
	Issue 173–183	Extramarital affair	Issue 173–183
		Broken up	Issue 183–Present

Appearances

Key
Green	This character made an appearance in this issue. (Type I)
Orange	This character was only mentioned in this issue. (Type II)
Blue	Alternative appearance: This character's name, likeness, or voice appeared in writing, a picture, or some other alternate form somewhere in this issue. (Type III)

Appearance Chart
001	002	003	004	005	006	007	008	009	010	011	012	013	014	015	016	017	018	019	020
021	022	023	024	025	026	027	028	029	030	031	032	033	034	035	036	037	038	039	040
041	042	043	044	045	046	047	048	049	050	051	052	053	054	055	056	057	058	059	060
061	062	063	064	065	066	067	068	069	070	071	072	073	074	075	076	077	078	079	080
081	082	083	084	085	086	087	088	089	090	091	092	093	094	095	096	097	098	099	100
101	102	103	104	105	106	107	108	109	110	111	112	113	114	115	116	117	118	119	120
121	122	123	124	125	126	127	128	129	130	131	132	133	134	135	136	137	138	139	140
141	142	143	144	145	146	147	148	149	150	151	152	153	154	155	156	157	158	159	160
161	162	163	164	165	166	167	168	169	170	171	172	173	174	175	176	177	178	179	180
181	182	183	184	185	186	187	188	189	190	191	192	193	194	195	196	197	198	199	200
201	202	203	204	205	206	207	208	209	210	211	212	213

Accolades

Ceremony	Category	Result
1st Woody Awards	Favorite Couple (with Jane)	Nominated
	Least Favorite Couple (with Jane)	Nominated
	Least Favorite Couple (with Millicent)	Nominated
2nd Woody Awards	Best Male Character	Nominated
	Most Hated Character	Nominated
	Least Favorite Couple (with Jane)	Won